Whether they stem from Hollywood or yesteryear, people have a lot of misconceptions about college.  And, as people are wont to do, they like to talk about it.   It’s not funny.  In order to help stop you from becoming one of these people (the annoying ones), I’ve created a guide.   Or rather a list of things that annoy me about college, what people think about it, and what it’s actually like to be a college student.  If you’re lucky enough to be attending a university, or have attended one in the past, hopefully you’ll take this to heart.

College college college.  God. People say college too much, there’s one.

I’m studying allll the tiiiiime.

Are you really? Why is it that when kids get to college “homework” is referred to as studying.  I understand that actual studying goes on, but in college any activity that’s school related and not in class becomes studying. Maybe it will make your grandparents proud if you call it studying, but people study from leather-bound books in musty halls steeped in knowledge. Just because you’re doing it in the Library doesn’t mean you’re studying either, you.  You’re just doing homework in the library.  Also, that essay you’re plagiarizing from Wikipedia is now a paper? That “test”an exam?

On the topic of actual studying (without the sarcastic italics), having your book open while you watch Oxygen/TLC is not actually studying.

I MUST buy a shitload of Ramen noodles, because you know, college.

Eating Ramen isn’t some wacky novelty required for college kids.  Sure it’s cheap, you’re still not quirky, funny or original.  You probably have a 1300 dollar meal plan anyway.

Wearing your college ID card around your neck.

Don’t do it, this isn’t science camp.

I stole this from somewhere, so credit to whoever.

BEER!!!1!

Can you say Freshman 35?

Class is optional! :D

Have fun with that 2.0 GPA.

Some unsolicited advice? Showing up is the most important part of doing well in college, that nap/video game is not worth it.  Also, do you have any idea how much each class costs? A lot, so don’t waste it.

I have my OWN space to do whatever I want with.

Nice Beatles poster.

It’s so different from High School.

Then why do you wear a high school shirt every day? Okay that’s irrelevant, but you look like a dork,  and you should have some pride in the school you’re attending.  Anyway, College is the same shite as high school, just with more junk food and free time to waste.

Animal House!!!!

Yeah no. Decent movie, but no. That’s all I have to say about that.

College is a leftist stronghold, where the liberal, intellectual elite brainwash our nation’s (middle to upper-class) youth.

If by liberal, intellectual elite you mean the most educated citizens in America, who spend their lives in the pursuit of knowledge, science, art and learning, and by brainwash you mean teach, then yeah that’s what goes on.  There’s a reason the nation’s most educated tend to vote on the left, because their actions are based on rational thought and empirical observation, rather than emotion, fear, discrimination and self interest.

Whew, I’ll stop now.

Anybody got a pen?

Why is it that everybody in college thinks they need to use a pen? Are you now so advanced in your academic ability that you don’t make mistakes?

Formerly freshman,

-Andrew