I’m sick of the f-word.

Finals. Finals Finals Finals.  Stop it.  Your complaints aren’t funny or original, and everybody is tired of hearing about it.

I’m so mad I wrote a haiku. Or a… “hate-ku.”

Finals: a haiku.

everyone has them

it’s why you are in college

so quit your bitching.

That being said, everything > studying.  Hence blog post. *hypocritical sad trombone*

There should be some sort of transition here, but there isn’t.

This probably makes me an Okie, but when there’s a bunch of doomsday talk about a tornado outbreak, and all you get is a thunderstorm, it’s kind of like biting into a cookie that you thought was chocolate chip, only to find out it’s raisin.  It’s still a cookie, and it’s probably better for you, but you can’t hide the fact that you’re disappointed.

I wonder if the people who make announcements over the loudspeakers in the airport realize that no one can hear them…

Dear Caribou Coffee,

Stop dying your whipped cream.


-Andrew’s Khaki Pants

Facebook cover photos are not second profile pictures.  I am about as narcissistic as they come, but I understand that you don’t need to see a giant picture of my face on top of a smaller picture of my face when you visit my profile.  You look like some kind of self-obsessed, human Russian nesting doll.

If anyone is under the impression that I’m put together, I’m not.  I’m just good at faking it.

With all the construction on campus recently, I’m starting to think I’m actually just a guinea pig at a construction working training academy.  Like I’m being tested for how much construction equipment they can put between me and anywhere on campus I happen to be going before I snap and try to kick over a bulldozer.

My scholastic accomplishment for the year was turning a bulleted, incoherent list that took up 3/4th’s of a page into a ten page research paper in one night.  I would say something cliché about procrastination, but by using the words cliché and procrastination in a sentence together I already did.  YOU’RE SO CLEVER, average Facebook user.

You've probably seen this before, but still. Fiery dismemberment not included.

Super excited for the Avengers this Friday,


P.S. Also excited for Summer.  And sentence fragments.