I was going to write an Ash Wednesday themed post, about humorous things to give up for Lent, but then I missed Ash Wednesday and wrote this instead.  Wah Wah.

I hate it when I accomplish something not on my to-do list, because then I don’t get the satisfaction of crossing it off my to-do list, which is like 70 percent of my motivation for getting things done.

On a related note, I never remember to actually put things on my to-do list, so I live with this constant feeling that I’m forgetting something.

I miss the days when my biggest worry was forgetting my show and tell object or getting caught picking my nose on the playground.

The socially awkward college student’s guide to seeing an acquaintance you don’t want to talk to in a public place

1.) Did you make eye contact?

If no, proceed to A, if yes, to B

A.) Look away, pretend to compose text message, avoid eye contact.

B.) Look away, pretend to compose text message, avoid eye contact.

Last Wednesday was Ash Wednesday I think, but I’m not sure, since I gave up Catholic holidays for Lent.

You know how teachers always say there’s no such thing as a stupid question? Yeah that’s not true, your question is stupid, and I’m getting frustrated.

I know it’s election season, but that doesn’t give you free reign to spam my Facebook news feed with your, ahem, OPINION.  Stating your political views on your profile are all I need.  Just because you attach a sarcastic and witty tagline to your pseudo-scientific “news” doesn’t make it true, and it certainly doesn’t make me believe it.  Contrary to what you undoubtedly believe, you are not the arbiter of right and wrong, fact and fiction.  Unless you (and Ron Paul apparently) are the only people in the world who can think objectively, stop spamming my news feed with your thinly veiled propaganda you Obama-hating, Glen Beck-believing, unambiguously racist, blathering tool(s).

I don’t pretend to be unbiased, nobody really is, but I don’t shove it down the throats of those unfortunate enough to friend me on Facebook.

IN CONCLUSION, I don’t want to hide your posts, I really don’t, but Facebook is for cat videos, memes, humorous insights into life, and relationship drama, not endless one-way mini rants presented as fact.  Get over yourselves or face my timid, indirect wrath.

Whew, passive aggression is exhausting.



P.S. I didn’t add any pictures to this post because I’m sick of the meme-frenzy that has overtaken Facebook.  I’m not saying I’m a meme hipster, and I get many a chuckle from them, but memes were better before they were half of Facebook.