Archive for May, 2011

[I wrote this a few days ago, but didn’t post it for whatever reason.  Anyway I bought a Canon Rebel T2i yesterday, and I love it so far, pictures to come after I upload my old pictures. ]

I dabble in photography, so the only logical thing to do is spend a thousand bucks on a camera.  Which I plan to do this weekend.  To commemorate this monumental splurge, I have decided to post some of my favorite pictures I’ve taken with my cheaper camera so far in my photography “career.”

The camera I have right now is a Canon Powershot SX130 IS, which I highly reccomend as an entry-level point and shoot, I got some great pictures with it.

I fully expect the pictures I take with the nicer camera to be 3 times as good, because it’s three times as expensive. *pangs of pre-purchase regret*

I guess this is like a portfolio?

So this first set is just some odds and ends from around my house/dorm, artsy fartsyness.

Clearly an amateur,


P.S. The rest is coming like, next week. Along with new stuff, because I know how much you like looking at pictures. Oh and other actual posts are coming too, my bloggy senses are tingling.   But that could also just be the mouse in my bed in my grandma’s basement.


For those of you who don’t live in Oklahoma, last night we had a bout of several rather large tornadoes, which made for an exciting evening.  A strange thing about us Okies is that a lot of us actually relish the bad weather, it’s exciting, a change of pace.  Living in the heart of tornado alley, tornadoes are sort of a statewide hobby, and we know how to handle them.

Much to my mom’s dismay, when the sky in the southwest turns a dark blue green, it sounds like a freight train is bearing down on me, and it’s like the clouds are throwing a lightning rave, I get an adrenaline rush like no other.

Anyways, a tornado knocked out the power to my house all night last night, which forced me to do a lot of thinking in the dark in lieu of my usual, electric-powered, activities.

Nature is the most awesome thing to behold, and it’s nights like yesterday that remind us that we aren’t masters of earth.  No matter the grandeur of the structures we build, Nature can wipe them out in a second, forcing us to behave like the squishy little animals we are, hiding in our holes underground.

Earth doesn’t care about your architecture and your technology, it hurtles through the void of space, spinning, storming, and leaving us desperately clinging to its surface, trying not to be flung out into space.

It’s funny that it takes a tornado to make me really think though.  I’m not going to be an old person and say that technology is making us dumber, but then again it sort of is..

I mean, if you have a smart phone and cell service, you know everything.  Any question you could possibly ask about the known world is just a web search away from being answered.  If we know everything, why learn anything?

I’m not anti–technology, far from it in fact, but it’s something worth thinking about next time you pick up your phone.

Then again, nature can always trump even our knowledge of everything.  Your cell phone can call anyone on the planet, it can answer any question you could have, it can be used to check your e-mail, your Facebook, it can pinpoint your location anywhere on the globe and tell you how to get home, but when the power goes out and you lose service it’s reduced to its most basic and arguably most important function: flashlight.

Well, I’m almost done philosophizing I promise, this all just makes me realize how fragile humans and our society really are.  That same river that gives us food and transportation then floods and destroys all that it gave us, leaving us wondering why it gave to us in the first place.

Human nature often echoes it’s larger counterpart, Mother Nature in this way; sometimes we build you up just because we like to watch you fall.



P.S. Here’s a video of a couple of the tornadoes last night

Actually, I’m not going to talk about Rapture much, I don’t want to give it the “Friday” treatment.  I just that I wish its believers would have gone the way of the red Kool-Aid, (okay that’s a touch on the insensitive side, I’m not a Nazi I swear) although I think this is substantially more

Professor Baddass has a public announcement

embarrassing.  It made for some entertaining reading this weekend though, that’s for sure, stupid people are the funniest.  At least they all get to survive to vote for Palin 2012 though! That is, unless the world ends first……. O.o

Did I just post a political opinion? Oops.

That embarrassing moment when you look in the mirror after a long day at work and realize that one sideburn is half an inch shorter than the other.  And that it’s been like that for at least a week.

Ah! Look away! I’m wearing stripes and plaid at the same time!!

My list of things to buy right now includes one of those skinny, 60’s era ties, Dexter seasons 1-4, some Blues Brothers sunglasses, a graphics card, and an 800 dollar camera.  Not necessarily related.  Or are they?

Too bad you stopped selling those tiny remote controlled cars Radio Shack, you would have made at least 30 bucks off of me with an impulse buy the other day.

Do you ever start going down some stairs when there are people around, and you get so focused on not looking weird going down the stairs in front of the people that you forget how to descend a staircase? …Yeah, me either, that would be weird.

Inside jokes are insensitive to the Friendless-American demographic, although we’re not very organized, because that might involve making friends.

I just saw an ad promising to teach me how to buy happiness with money.  I already know how to do that though, it’s called Legos.


Or candy.

Or expensive technology like Ps3s and cameras that I probably don’t need.

Jesus, I am like a 12 year old.

If you’re a nerd like me, and you’re looking for some quality entertainment this summer you should check out the HBO series Game of Thrones.  It’s like Lord of the Rings but HBO-ifyed.  Gratuitous nudity and violence abound as political games are played and power takes its toll on everyone it touches.  It’s nothing breathtakingly original, but it’s damn entertaining, and I can’t wait till the next episode comes out.  Make sure to read some kind of plot synopsis first though, I was terribly confused at first. Sundays at 9/8c.

Also, if you’ve watched it, Tyrion Lannister, the snarky, high-born midget is like my favorite character ever.

If you’re addicted to sugar, the candy aisle at Sam’s Club is a dangerous place…. As evidenced by the case of pretzel M&M’s to my right, and the spiking levels of blood sugar in my veins.

I’m going to go jogging with friends like a socially and physically active person would,

That was a lie,


Did I Just Meditate?

I figure since the world is ending in a few hours I ought to make my last blog post a somewhat helpful one, so I’ll be remembered by the atheists as a smart person.

When was the last time you just existed?  

As humans we constantly feel the need to be doing something.  If we’re just sitting there we feel unproductive, and like we’re wasting time.  When a dog just sits there nobody criticizes it for being lazy and wasting it’s time, it’s just being, it’s not doing.  

That’s the difference between between humans and animals, animals exist and humans do. 

I think that we as a species should try to just exist more.  Last night was a beautiful night, 70 degrees and windless.  After I got off work, I went outside and sat in a chair.  I just existed after my long day of doing, and it felt horrible.

At first.

I felt this itch, like I needed to go do something.  I had to check Facebook, watch TV, or even (God forbid) read.  I sat through it though, and eventually I got into this extremely relaxing mental state of being.  Afterwards I felta little melancholy, as thinking too much is prone to do to a person, but very relaxed and calm, peaceful.

Insert racial stereotype here.

I suppose that’s what meditation is, but when I think of meditation I think of some bald-headed, Gandhi-looking guru in colorful robes sitting cross-legged and “ahhhmmmmmmmm”-ing with his hands outstretched to his sides.

I was just sitting in a lawn chair, reeking of Asian food, thinking, and enjoying the weather.

Worth a try,


Movie Review: Bridesmaids

From Clerks to The Hangover, the R-rated comedy genre has been long dominated by men.  Movies featuring female leads and feminine plot lines are entertaining, in fact I enjoy watching “chick flicks” as much as any woman, but they never quite cross that line into crude, laugh-till-you-cry hilarity that is common to comedies featuring male leads.

Bridesmaids finally bridges that gap between chick flicks and R-rated comedy, and it does it with force.

At left: Mellissa McCarthy, Ellie Kemper, Rose Byrne, Wendy McLendon-Covey, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig

Bridesmaids proves once and for all that women can make fun of themselves and be as ungraceful and colorful as any male lead, with awkward and brash performances reminiscent of Zach Galifianakis or Seth Rogen.  The men in the movie are all fairly minor characters, even the future husband of the bride that is the movie’s namesake only gets a minute or two of screen time.  The biggest male parts were played by Jon Hamm, who plays the douchebag sex buddy who Wiig’s character shouldn’t be with, and Chris O’Dowd, who plays the lovable bumbling cop and love interest, Rhodes. It’s clear that the women are the stars here, and they aren’t upstaged by anyone.

Kristen Wiig is hawt.

Kristen Wiig brings more than her usual simple-minded, one-dimensional SNL characters to the big screen as the insecure, short-fused, and dorky, but kind-hearted and adorable Annie in BridesmaidsWiig was a co-writer, so naturally the movie showcases her throughout, but she doesn’t fail to deliver.  Her hilarious performance made me laugh out loud more times than I can count, accompanied by almost as many cringes at the awkward situations she frequently got herself into.  There were moments of the movie that were almost painful due to their sheer awkwardness. At times I hated her, at times I felt sorry for her, at times I laughed my ass off at her, but by the end I loved her.  Before Bridesmaids I wasn’t much of  Kristen Wiig fan, but now I look forward to her future performances on the big screen as a comedic star.

As for the other performances, they’re all pretty solid, with a standout performance from relative unknown Melissa McCarthy as Megan, the butch, crazy, and hilariously awkward sister-in-law of the bride to be.    Some moments with McCarthy however, felt forced and could have been left out, but overall I enjoyed her off beat and very brash performance.  She definitely took a page from Zach Galifianakis’ playbook from The Hangover in her depiction of the slightly crazy Megan.

There weren’t any particularly bad performances, but Ellie Kemper as the innocent Becca played the same character as she does on the office, and Maya Rudolph was Maya Rudolph, I’ve never really been a big fan of hers, and Bridesmaids didn’t really change my opinion.  The stars of the show were clearly Wiig and McCarthy.

If I had a nit to pick however, it would be that the plot is exactly what you’d expect from  a chick flick.  Everything happens the way you expect it to, but then again I didn’t really have a problem with that.  Also, Chris O’Dowd’s character with the Irish accent was a little strange, I’m not sure why they took him in that direction. Apart from some forced humor and predictable plot lines, the movie worked for me.

Don’t go see Bridesmaids expecting a revolutionary story with lots of character development and plot twists, go see Bridesmaids to laugh your ass off with your girlfriend or boyfriend, with your best friend, or with your closest enemy.  Everyone can get something out of Bridesmaids, except maybe your grandparents and your impressionable young nephews.  Don’t take them to go see it. Just don’t.

Bridesmaids is a feminine breakthrough into the world of raunchy male comedy, and it works.

My consensus?  On a scale of ”  ” to “I also think Kristen Wiig is smokin’ hot…” I give it a “I also think Kristen Wiig is smokin’ hot”

The Tomatometer never lies,


P.S. There is a lot I left out in the review, but I know how short your attention spans are on the internet, so just go see the movie for the rest. Do it.  A definitely R-rated trailer can be seen here.

I actually wrote this yesterday, but a post on two consecutive days is unheard of for me.

So I’ve noticed over the last couple of years  that some people find me attractive.  Obviously, as evidenced by the numerous pictures of myself on my blog, I share that sentiment in the most narcissistic way possible.  However, I’ve noticed that the other people who find me attractive are not the young, pretty girls my age that I want to attract, instead it’s mostly gay guys and middle aged women.  Explain that to me, what about my appearance is attractive to the gay guy and middle-aged women demographic and not the datable young women demographic??  Are they just more desperate, thus lowering their standards? I have nothing wrong with gays and older women, but seeing as how I’m straight and 19, they aren’t datable.  If someone could explain this weird phenomenon to me, I would very much appreciate it.

I had my first Vegemite sandwich today.  Contrary to what I’ve heard, I actually really enjoyed it, or as they would say in Australia, I actually really enjoyed it.

Time for some life advice, young readers.

           People always tell you that working in the food service business is the worst and to be avoided at all costs right?  Suck it up and get a job in the food service anyway you pansy.  Why? Because after washing dishes, clearing tables, taking out the trash, and coming home every night exhausted and smelling like Asian food, you will appreciate much more the jobs you hold later in life.

I know that I’m not exactly a seasoned veteran of the working world, but at the ripe old age of 19, I’ve worked at a Japanese restaurant for almost 3 years, and I’ve already felt the positive effects.  At work the other day at my new office job I was briefed on the horrors of “trash duty,” which is a biweekly chore that consists of emptying all the smaller trash bags in the office into one larger bag, and then taking that larger bag just outside the office.  Compared to the seafood-filled, soy sauce-soaked, generally gross trash from a restaurant, office trash was nothing.  Seriously, office trash isn’t even trash compared to restaurant trash.  It doesn’t even have to be trash related, but if you start at the bottom even the most minuscule step up is an improvement, and it will make working a lot more pleasant.

Just some friendly, unsolicited life advice from your friendly neighborhood bloggerman.

Did I really just call myself bloggerman? Gross.

R.I.P. Quiznos Honey Bacon Club, you will always be remembered as the best sandwich known to man.

I think I’ve come to the conclusion that the majority of my views are pity refreshes and seedy East Asian financial advice scams, so… Thanks for stopping by, actual humans out there.

Sorry for the Saturdowner,



So it turns out having two jobs is exhausting.  Yeah I know it’s only two part time jobs, and it’s the summer and all but to be fair, most people with 2 jobs aren’t lazy jerks like myself.  So basically it’s not my fault, waaaahh.  Anyway, I’ve been working a lot lately, and I can only hope that whatever I waste my paychecks on is worth it.

I wish I could hold an international conference of Andrew Romans’s, just out of curiosity.

Working int he president’s office is doing strange things to my summer.  Normally right now I would be sleeping till lunch, growing a beard, and cargo shortsing it up.  Instead I go to work at 8 every morning, have to shave every day, and dress like I’m about to go yachting.  I guess that’s what grownup summers are like.

Man, I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I hate it when you’re walking down a long hallway and there’s someone on the other end walking towards you.  I never know what to do! Do I stare them down the entire time like it’s a duel? Do I avoid eye contact the entire time like they’re freaking Medusa? I usually end up staring at the floor or the ceiling and making brief, intermittent glances in their direction until I get close, when I finally make brief eye contact.  If they’re an old lady I smile politely, if it’s an attractive female I smile coyly, though I suspect it comes off as more of a grimace, I am not good with facial expressions, and if it’s a dude I sort of nod and look serious. I’m weird.

Being skin-cancer free is nice and all but man, If I go outside shirtless my extreme whiteness is a hazard to passing planes.  It’s my Norwegian heritage, I’ve evolved to blend in with the snow.

I was cleaning out my room the other day and I found an old poetry project from a high school English class, man I was a dork.  Thank god I grew out of that stage…

Maybe if someone convinces me I’ll post a couple of them sometime. ;)

Probably not,


P.S. I am having a hard time writing lately, if anyone has any blog requests or ideas let me know, it would be much appreciated!!

P.P.S. Really, no one ever responds to these requests, but e-mail me, facebook me, comment on here, whatever! Just let me know your ideas, your thoughts and comments, anything you jerks. :)

So today I guiltily snuck past 4,000 views.. I say guiltily because since 3,000 views I’ve only posted like 4 times.  I’m working on fixing that, but I’ve been busy moving and moping and other important stuff like that.

Speaking of which, I’ll never set foot in Parker 428 again.   What a tremendously strange feeling that is.  Despite the fact that it was a black hole of despair, I killed a lot of Nazi Zombies and wrote a lot of blog posts in there. Actually now that I think about it, this is the first blog post written in the post-Parker Era, I have no idea what I’m going to write about now.  Those obscenity-yelling, door-slamming, un-potty trained morons of the 4th floor were so often my inspiration…

It really is a weird feeling though, because that dorm room eventually became my reality, while my parents house was like a time machine, exactly how it was when I was in high school.  Going to school in the town I grew up in makes reality hard to place.  The setting is only vaguely familiar, disconnected from the town I grew up in, but people from my pre-college life frequently make appearances.  I see people I know from the past here and there, but they’re out of the context in which I remember them, like when you encounter familiar faces in a dream.  Dreams aren’t populated with strangers, what makes a dream a dream is familiar faces in places they don’t belong.  When I used to leave home every Sunday night to drive back to the dorms it was like I was leaving my past and entering my strange reality someplace in between past and future. Now that reality is in boxed up in the past, and I’m left wondering if it all really was just a dream.


Being the socially awkward person that I am, dressing rooms terrify me.  For one they’re always in the women’s section, so to find them you have to look like a freak, creeping around in the women’s underwear section.  When you actually find the dressing rooms in between the bloomers and the Justin Beiber-crotched teen panties, you have to figure out which dressing rooms ones are the women’s and which one’s are the men’s, lest you barge in on women in states of undress or unflattering jeans.  Figuring this out usually involves asking the snarky teenage girl who works there.  I say snarky because they always treat you in this condescending manner, like you’re going to make the clothes dirty by touching them, and it’s a long trip back to the incinerator after you’ve soiled them.  That being said, some of that snark is well placed, because another scary thing about the dressing room is the complete trust you place in the hands of the person who tried the clothes on before you.  I just have to hope that their particular species of lice isn’t too aggressive, or that they at least applied deodorant to their sweaty balls before they tried it on. Adding to the stress of the whole thing is the knowledge that if you forgo the dressing room and just buy it and it looks like crap on you or is the wrong size, you’re stuck with it forever, because returns are twice as scary.

Yesterday I just sat around at home and watched kung fu and boxing movies.  Never a good idea to startle me after a day like that, because I was hardcore in the mood to punch something and get punched just to feel alive.

Just f.y.i. I’ve never been punched before, I bet it would hurt a lot worse than it looks in the movies.

I start working in the President (of OSU)’s office tomorrow morning, hopefully I don’t screw up, and hopefully he doesn’t read my blog.

In memoriam Parker 428,


P.S. I’ve got a couple more blog posts in the works, so hopefully I’ll start posting with regularity again! No promises though, because blogging is hard.

I haven’t posted in over a week.  I wasn’t just facing writers block, I was discovering the many ways how not to write a blog post. Don’t worry, none of them involve having a life.  [Reminiscent, sympathy-invoking sentence omitted.]

Big news though, since having tremendous amounts of free time during the summer is apparently frowned upon when you’re 19, I applied for and got my first desk job! I’ll be working this summer and into the fall as a Student Assistant to the President here at Oklahoma State.  Due to the public nature of the office however, I am not allowed to disclose the daily comings and goings of the office, so this will probably be all I can say about it.  Just assume that I’m usually doing something really important and top secret.

So that’s pretty cool.

On an unrelated note, I just accidentally ate an entire bag of Flamin’ Hot Munchies  and a box of Hot Tamales (endorsement deal?).  I feel like death, but it was soooo grooood.

~Transitional sentence~

(In no particular oder)


10.) Write a blog post by playing Portal 2

Portal 2 is not blogging, and is incredibly addicting.  Thus, no posts.

9.) Write at work

I work in a computerless restaurant. And I don’t have a smart phone.  I have a dumb phone, so it doesn’t work out.

8.) Write blog posts during dead (pre-finals) week

Can you say 9 page research paper on the obesity epidemic in America, its causes, and its effects? Oh and a 20 page power point comparing the  stock market crash of 1720 with the one of 2008.  And I had to write my own obituary for the death part of Developmental Psychology.  So in case you didn’t connect the dots there, my point was that I was incredibly busy.

 7.) Write by working on a movie set

It’s true! I’m working part time as an intern in the art department of a movie filming around Stillwater. It’s called Cowgirls and Sweethearts I think, and it stars James Cromwell from the movie Babe.  Anyway, hard work, can’t write blog posts there.

6.) Write while sickish

Sore throats and eye infections aren’t very funny.  And no, that does not count as being sick, if you’re keeping track.

5.) Be a nerd

You might think being a nerd would help when it comes to something as time consuming as blogging, but not when you’re in the computer lab playing League of Legends with your nerdy friends till 4:30am.

4.) Write blog posts during finals week

Yeah I was still just playing Portal 2.

3.) Write while pretending to be a photographer

I’ve taken up photography as a hobby on the side, so I recently took my sister’s senior pictures. I’m buying a much nicer camera this summer too, so if you’re interested in having your senior pictures or just some random glamor shots taken by moi, let me know.  If you want to see how my sister’s pictures turned out they can be found here (I think). For real though, if you’re interested I don’t charge much (if I charge at all), and it’ll only be a little awkward.  Mostly fun though I promise.  Not in a creepy way.

Shameless self-promotion aside, photography is time consuming, and it takes away from blogging time.

2.) Try to write a blog

Turns out it’s way harder to write a blog post when you actually try.

1.) Try to write by entering your computer Tron-style

I made this one up because I couldn’t think of ten.  But wouldn’t it be cool??

I’m back,


%d bloggers like this: