Every genius with fingers and internet access has had a Facebook status about how Facebook has kept them from doing their homework or some other incredibly important task.  I’m no exception, so don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m sick of those statuses.  However, there are two sides to every cyber coin, and even the most negative aspects of Facebook can have positive functions.  That being said, I’m also sick of hearing how Facebook has defined our generation.  Sure it fuels revolutions and high school drama but that could have been accomplished just as well with AIM, e-mail, or Myspace.   Basically, I use Facebook a lot, it’s great, but shut up about it.  *Enter blog post about Facebook*

This one goes out to all my Facebook friends, most of which I’ve never actually talked to and probably never will.

1.) Facebook Creeping.

Improved my life: S***, she has a boyfriend.

Ruined my life: *Clicks on 100th vacation photo posted by that girl who sat 3 seats behind me in one of my classes freshman year*

*Head explodes*

2.) Facebook Chat.

Improved my life: Hey there, person I’m too scared to talk to in real life. ;)

Ruined my life: I accidentally say “lol” in actual conversations.

3.) Facebook Statuses.

Improved my life: I’m a cyber attention whore.  Hence: BLOG.

I had no idea what to put for a picture on this one. This is, ah, hilarious...

Ruined my life: I forgot I was Facebook friends with my mom.

Also, don’t Facebook about your bowel movements. Ew.

4.) Facebook Messages.

Improved my life: Less scary than Facebook Chat and talking in person.  You can take as long as you want to respond, and you can send the same message to 10 people at once.

Ruined my life: They have to be prefaced with “I swear I’m not a creeper but….”  Also event messages to events you don’t have the stones to click “not attending” on because you don’t want to look like a douche.

5.) Facebook Events.

Improved my life: “Hey friends, come do this fun activity with me! :D” and “Hey! I got invited to something, they do care about me! :D”

Ruined my life: “Attending” = maybe attending, “Maybe attending” = not coming,  and “Not attending” = F*** you, I’m too cool for your event.

6.) Facebook Mobile.

Improved my life: I’m updating my status from somewhere way cooler than where you are.  (I’m not, I’m actually at my computer in a dark dorm room)

Ruined my life: Group messages.  I’m glad you’re stoked about this club, but could you have your conversation about it somewhere other than my cell phone?

7.) Facebook.

Improved my life: It helps to stave off the crushing weight of loneliness.  I’m also an attention whore. I mean I’m just a witty dude with a lot to share with the world.

Ruined my life: Staring at the home page is much more interesting than just about anything academic.  My friends are way cooler than me.


I wrote this while on Facebook,


P.S. If you’re reading this and am Facebook friends with me, chat me sometime, it’ll only be slightly weird at first.  If I immediately go offline don’t take it personally, I probably have something more interesting to do.