Snow days are like black holes of productivity.  So when a snow day falls in the middle of the week, it’s just like that day didn’t happen and I’m repeating the day before.  Just to ah, explain that title. Yeahh.  MOVING ON.

They fixed the heater in my dorm (read post from Monday.) by turning it off.  Now it’s cold and it smells like, wait, I can’t smell anything, the snot is frozen in my nose.  Where are my damn jazzercise club and sex-having neighbors when I need them?

I ate 9 Oatmeal Creme Pies today, beat that! Wait….

Some potential future blogs:

Dating Advice From a  Single, Shy, and Nerdy Guy With Limited Dating Experience

Andrew Summarizes The Oscar Nominees He Hasn’t Seen; Refers to Himself in the Third Person

10 Ways to Exert Minimal Effort and Look Like,  Smart

I decided I should wash my dishes after the contents one of my bowls offered to write my blog for me.  It didn’t look very funny.

That better be soap on the mirror guys….

My most embarrassing moment?  One time whilst wearing roller skates I accidentally ended up in the women’s bathroom at the skating rink.  I can’t skate.

Does anyone actually use that hole in the front of boxers? I don’t want to go into detail here, but come on, is their function really something that couldn’t be accomplished without them? For me they just exponentially increase the odds of a boxer-clad wardrobe malfunction.

Sample multiple choice question from every teacher-made exam:

Word problem with names that illustrate my love of cultural diversity (do you really know someone with that many consonants in their name?).

A.) At first glance it looks like this could be the answer.

B.) The answer is probably B.

C.) The answer is probably C.

D.) I’m a total smartass.

Is there anything wrong with loving Firework but not having the stones to buy it on iTunes? Don’t give me that, Katy Perry is ridiculously attractive and you know it.  I would totally risk the burns to get to that whipped cream…. (too far?)

See? they're not the same person. Also, hello ladies.... ;)

And she totally looks like my favorite actress Zooey Deschanel. Ironic that I'm in love with both of them?

I swear I have a little  “The Sims” style pee bar above my head that the cleaning lady looks at to decide when she should clean the bathroom.  ALWAYS WHEN IT’S FULL.

You can keep your coffee shops, Toms, Macboks, and ironic flannel, I blog like an AMERICAN. Alone in a dark dorm room on a desktop.

You’ve probably stopped reading by now,


P.S. If there is one of those 3 potential blog posts up there that you’d like to see me write, let me know and I’ll write it.  Because you’re probably the only person reading this.